


Cherry

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Series: The Other 51 [38]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Finn Skywalker, Force-Sensitive Finn Implied, He's so cute, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: How things came to be the way they were in The Force Awakens.





	Cherry

"Papa!"

Luke stood up from the couch in his sister's house and looked around for the source of the sound. Almost instantly, he saw a young boy with a mop of black hair holding a stick and running around in delight.

"I'm not your papa, Ben," Luke called to him. "Here, c'mere and I'll help you find him."

"Wook?" little Ben Solo asked, slowing down and tilting his head inquisitively. "Do the Foce!"

Luke leaned back, laughing, and reached into his pocket for the ball that he always brought with him when he went to the Solos' home. No matter how many times he performed it, the trick never failed to amuse the young boy.

Holding the small thing in his hand, and emptying his mind to tap into the invisible power that surrounded him, Luke lifted the ball and spun it around the room, moving it tantalizingly close to Ben's grasp.

He giggled as he ran around the room to try and catch it, even jumping up in an attempt to grab it in his arms. Finally, he flopped onto the ground on his butt in defeat, already-lengthening black hair collapsing over his dark eyes.

Luke summoned the ball back into his pocket and picked his nephew up into his arms.

"Come on, Benny baby. Let's go find your papa."

Han Solo and his wife, Leia, were in their room dressing into their formal clothes, and Luke stopped in the doorway in confusion.

"Luke, please don't tell me you forgot," Leia sighed, standing up and taking her son out of her brother's arms.

"Forgot what?" Luke asked, furrowing an eyebrow.

"Diplomatic ball," Han called from the mirror, where he was adjusting his bowtie. "Don't worry, kid. I almost forgot, too."

"You're going to help take care of Ben," Leia told Luke, stroking the boy's hair as he wrapped his arms around her neck. "He gets bored easily at these kinds of things, and Han and I will be busy performing negotiations. Take him home when he gets tired, by the way. I don't want him to throw a tantrum. You're prone to tantrums, aren't you, Benny baby?"

Leia tickled underneath Ben's chin, and he giggled again and buried his head into his mother's chest.

"I have your formal clothes ironed on the bed over there, by the way," she added, releasing a hand from her son and gesturing. "Put them on, and in the meantime, we'll help Ben put his on, and then we'll leave."

Luke nodded as he scooped up the pants and undershirt and moved in the direction of the bathroom. And as he walked, he considered how domestic this scene really was.

He had missed domesticity. He hadn't had it since his aunt and uncle had burned to ashes back on Tatooine. And when there wasn't a galaxy that needed saving, things were unusually peaceful.

Luke liked peaceful. And he liked his sister, his brother-in-law, and his nephew even more.

The drive to the building where the meeting was being held was short, and most of it was spent playing games with Ben as Han hummed along to the music playing on the radio. It was rather dull, but Luke knew from experience that it would be nothing compared to the meeting itself.

And half an hour later, his knowledge was proven right.

 

"Hello, Senator Something-or-other. This is my husband Han, my brother Luke, and my son Ben."

"Luke Skywalker? Oh, it's lovely to finally meet you! You're a hero for this galaxy. Thank you for all you've done for us."

"Anything to serve, my lady." (Sometimes "sir.")

"Oh, and is this the little boy? Are you going to be a senator like your mother? Or a pilot like your father?"

"He wants to be a Jedi like his uncle."

"That's lovely! Good luck, young Mr. Solo!"

"What do you say, Ben?"

"Tank you!"

At first it was nice to be admired, and seeing little Ben talk about his dreams was absolutely adorable. But before long, it started becoming monotonous, and knowing no one other than his two busy friends, and having only an increasingly tired Ben for company, Luke found himself growing increasingly bored.

Until he looked across the room and saw him.

He was dressed in beautiful grey robes that suited him more perfectly than clothes had ever suited anyone before. He had dark eyes, dark hair, dark skin, and beautiful, full lips, and he was dancing around the room with a woman who looked as if she was his sister, and when he smiled in Luke's direction, the Jedi leader came infinitely close to falling apart.

And then, Luke made a split-second decision that changed his life forever.

"Ben, do you want to go say hi to the nice man over there?"

"Yes! Say hi!"

Luke took Ben by the hand and walked across the dance floor, heart pounding. The man and his sister looked over when he approached them and smiled.

"I'm Luke," said Luke. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sam," the man said, in a voice rich as cocoa, "and this is my sister Ella. It's nice to meet - wait, are you Luke Skywalker? "

"Yes," Luke sighed. "I am."

Sam stepped back and held up his hands. "Oh, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. It's just that I've idolized you ever since you've become known, and-"

Luke reached out and touched his shoulder placatingly; the man looked worried, and Luke would have hated to make him worry for no reason. "No, no, it's fine, honest. I'm just tired. I'm sorry for scaring you."

Sam nodded and flashed a thumbs up. "Gotcha. Apology accepted. I'm guessing you don't want me to ask you the typical questions then?"

"Not really."

"I can respect that. So, how was your day?"

The conversation continued as small talk while Ella absentmindedly played with Ben, but no matter how much they talked about the weather or the boredom of the meeting, Sam stubbornly refused to humanize himself in Luke's eyes.

 _Jedi shouldn't get married or form romantic attractions._ Darth Vader, Luke's own father, had done that, and it had taken him to the dark side of the Force. But suddenly Luke knew what he meant when he wrote about Padme's beautiful skin, or the perfect lines of her face, or her ruby red lips that he had found himself unable to pull away from.

Because he saw all of those things in the man who was standing in front of him.

Luke was not thinking anymore, only feeling, and he knew that this kind of behavior was a pathway straight to the Dark Side, but he didn't care, not as he was taking Sam's hand and leading him outside and kissing him under the cherry tree that grew there. Sam kissed back with the exact same eagerness, as if they had both been waiting for this moment for the longest of times. And they probably had.

Jedi shouldn't form romantic relationships.

But that was the last thing on Luke's mind in that moment.

 

It was late, very late, when Luke went home with Ben, covered in kisses and guilt, drowning in pain and thoughts.

Did this mean that he wasn't a true Jedi? Weren't true Jedi supposed to have the strength to resist that temptation? Maybe he should just turn in his lightsaber now to spare himself the pain later.

But Sam had made him feel not weak, but strong, and even though Luke had known him for only a couple of hours, the connection between them was unlike any that he had ever experienced before in his life.

Jedi duty comes first.

And if Luke wasn't strong enough to resist the temptation when it had come, he would have to be strong enough to break everything off before it spiraled into disaster.

While Ben slept in his nursery and cuddled his teddy bear, Luke searched for a directory of everyone who had attended that diplomatic ball. Once he found it, he located Samuel and Ella Alexander fairly quickly. And the next morning, back at home, he took the phone outside and called the number.

"Hey, Luke," Sam's voice answered.

"Oh - you already put my number into your phone?"

"Of course. I got the feeling that you were going to call me after last night."

"That was actually what I was going to talk to you about. Can I meet you somewhere?"

"You can go to my house. El's off doing errands, so we'll have it all to ourselves. There was actually something I wanted to say, too."

"Be right there."

 

During the drive, Luke practiced his speech, expecting to fumble over it once the time actually came to give it. So he was surprised when he sat across from Sam at his dinner table, and all was silent but some birds tweeting in the background, and the words came out perfectly.

"Listen, Sam...I really liked you last night, romantically, and if this were any other situation I would be more than interested in a romantic relationship. But I'm a Jedi, and our love would have to be forbidden like my father's, and I would hate to force that kind of baggage on you. So I'm sorry that I'm hurting you like this after kissing you last night, and I'm sorry that we even have to have this conversation. I hope we can still be friends."

It was riddled with clichés. Luke may as well have said, "It's not you, it's me."

Tears formed in his eyes almost as soon as he looked up from his twitching hands and dared to glance into Sam's dark eyes, expecting to see anger or tears or at least some kind of negative emotion.

But Sam, to his surprise, was smiling. One of his hands reached forward and rested on Luke's in comfort.

"I get where you're coming from, I really do," he murmured. "And I appreciate you looking out for me. But I can handle that kind of baggage. And for you, I would be willing to. I don't care if our relationship needs to be secret, or if I barely get to see you, or whatever. I fell in love with you last night, and this is cliché and kind of stupid...But I don't care about anything that might stop us. I'm ready for the risk if you are."

Luke's panicking mind stopped in its tracks. This sort of kindness, this sort of treatment, was something that he had never been given before in his life. And though what was to come was a prospect that terrified him, the feeling behind it was an impossible exhilaration.

"I'm ready," Luke whispered, leaning forward so that they were face-to-face.

"Well, then, so am I."

Sam leaned forward and kissed him, firmly but passionately, on the lips, and Luke wrapped an arm around him from behind and kissed him back. And then, all that they could do is look each other in the eye and smile.

"You said you wanted to tell me something, too," Luke suddenly remembered. "What was it?"

"Oh." Sam blushed and looked down at the table before looking back up. "I'm assuming you're gay? Or bi?"

"Gay," said Luke. "You?"

"I'm bi. And the thing is, I don't know if you can tell, I pass fairly well, but...I'm trans. I just felt like I needed to let you know before we proceeded in our relationship."

"Thank you for telling me," said Luke, putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You didn't need to if you weren't comfortable, but thank you. I appreciate that you trusted me enough to tell me."

Sam smiled. "Thank you for not being transphobic."

"'Course."

Luke moved his chair to the side so that Sam could place his head on his shoulder. And that was all that either of them needed to do.

 

Even though both of them were filled with infinite delight, desiring with all of their hearts to share the news of their relationship, it was kept secret and masked behind friendship. In the day, they would go to each other's houses, meet up with friends or even alone at restaurants and parks. Han and Leia and even little Ben got to intimately know the Alexanders, and any outsider looking in would assume that they were merely two close families.

But if the outsider looked closer, if his eyes did not close after the day was over and instead followed nightly whispers on roofs or in gardens, then he would find himself very mistaken.

"I love you."

"I know."

But while Han and Leia said those words in public, Luke and Sam were forced to keep them with their relationship in utter, secret privacy.

 

Months passed like this. And then, a couple of weeks after Ben's fifth birthday, Luke came to Sam and told him that they should get a house together.

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief, raising a single eyebrow.

Luke explained. "I was on a Jedi mission, and I found this remote island with the foundations for a house. If we wanted a secret hideout, just for us...then we could have it. What do you think?"

"Oh, I see. That sounds amazing. I'm ready."

The island was very far away, so far that the duo needed a map just to find it, so they resolved to take all of the supplies in one Millennium-Falcon-powered trip (Han lent it to them on Luke's request). It took only a week to build a tiny shack, as Luke was assisted by the Force, and another to put some small pieces of furniture in it. After a week alone together, they sadly parted with their little home, resolving to return to it again as soon as possible.

Although it, like their relationship, was kept secret, it stood there, straight and tall, as a symbol of their love. And, of course, as an escape if they ever needed it.

 

The need for an escape came in a flash when Ben was around six. He and a couple of his friends were training with the Force, finding it hard to concentrate due to their excitement, and Luke was watching them and making occasional comments. Suddenly, he felt his portable phone vibrate beside him, and he picked it up without hesitation.

"Hey, Luke," Sam said. "I have something important I need to tell you. When can we meet?"

"I can come over right now. Give me a second."

Giving a quick apology to his younglings, Luke got into his car and drove over to Sam's house, where he was sitting on the couch and sobbing into his hands.

"What's wrong, love?" Luke asked instantly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

Sam looked up. "I'm pregnant. I just wanted to talk it over with you, because I want to keep the baby, but obviously I'll need to tell everyone whose it is. And what will I say?"

"You don't need to say I'm the father," Luke said comfortingly. "You can just say that you had a one-night stand somewhere, and you want to keep it. Would that be good?"

"That's a good plan," Sam sniffled. "I just...there is human life inside of me. I can't bring myself to destroy it."

"I'll be proud of my child," Luke whispered into Sam's stomach. "Even though no one will know he or she is."

"And I'll be proud of you."

 

Luke had thought that everything would be okay. He could keep a secret, even if it was a huge one like this, and he wasn’t alone with it. If he was ever bothered by anything - anything - he could talk to Sam.

But this was bigger than any secret he had ever encountered. So after consent from Sam, he decided to tell his two closest friends, Han and Leia Solo.

“Sam’s baby is mine,” he whispered, allowing them to squeeze his hands tightly. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I love him. I wanted to keep it a secret, but…”

He started crying. He wasn’t entirely sure why.

Han leaned into his friend and put an arm around his shoulder. "Hey. It's okay. That idea that Jedi shouldn't have children is stupid anyway. It's your decision. And I promise I'll support both you and the kid."

"Have you decided what you're going to name it?" Leia asked suddenly, smile crossing her face.

"Sam and I talked about it yesterday, actually. If it's a girl, he wants to name her Marjorie after his grandmother, and if it's a boy, he's letting me name him Anakin. Anakin Alexander."

"Anakin Alexander," Leia repeated. "That's a good name. I support it. And of course I support you, dear brother."

Luke smiled. "Thank you. I love you both."

"We know."

 

Anakin Alexander was born about nine months later, a healthy, beautiful baby who looked much more like Sam than he did like Luke. That was a blessing for both of them, and it was especially a blessing for Luke, who was reminded of his perfect lover whenever he looked at his perfect child. Everyone else in their little circle of friends loved Anakin just as much, and it wasn't uncommon for Sam's house to be filled with visitors who were there just to look at him.

Of these visitors, Luke was the most frequent. He would clutch little Ani tight to his chest, whispering into his ear, and he would look at him and imagine him as a powerful Jedi, only one that would make the right decisions. The original Anakin - Anakin Skywalker - would be happy, he knew.

One day, Luke, Sam, and Ani decided to take a little weekend trip to their secret island. They needed to be alone, just as a family of three, and the overwhelmingness of the rest of the group wouldn't provide that for them. So that was what they did.

It was a peaceful life. Ani seemed to enjoy crawling around the house that they had built, taking in fresh air, and sometimes, Luke would show him little Force tricks. In some ways, he reminded him of Ben when he was young.

 

At night, Luke and Sam slept in their bed, hugging each other close, and Ani would sleep in a little crib that they had built last-minute. He was a surprisingly quiet baby at night. It was only in very, very few situations that he would wake his parents up by crying.

Which was why, on the night before they were set to leave, when he screamed louder than he ever had before, it was a shock to the both of them.

Luke and Sam sprang up before hesitation and ran into the living room where Ani's crib had been placed. Inside were a group of people in white suits whom Luke instantly recognized as Stormtroopers, and the one who seemed to be the leader was holding Ani in their arms.

Without thinking, Sam ran up to him and tackled him, punching blindly, teeth bared with a savagery that Luke had never seen. He knew that he should do something - get his lightsaber, use the Force, anything - but he was too shocked to even breathe.

"Let my son go!" Sam shrieked, wrestling Ani out of his arms, overlapping even his terrified squeals. "Let him go, or you'll pay!"

The other Stormtroopers pulled Sam off of him with ease and pressed him and Luke against the wall. And then, he could only watch helplessly as they carried Ani away and shot Sam clean through the head.

Luke could only bring himself to react after the Stormtroopers had left. He clutched his lover's head to his chest, sobbing into his hair, mourning both of the loved ones he had lost on that fateful night.

He buried Sam on that little island and carved his name out in the gravestone by hand. Somehow, any use at all of the Force felt painful and impersonal. And even when he came back home, he barely talked to anyone.

Somewhere behind him, life was happening. Somewhere behind him, Han and Leia Solo were no longer smiling and leaning into each other as much as they used to. Somewhere behind him, little Ben Solo - now around fifteen - was walking around with darkness in his eyes, reaching for help but not finding it. But Luke, in his trance-like state, saw none of it.

 

He was still almost dead on the morning when he came into the Jedi training room, just like always. The dead bodies of the younglings and Padawan on the ground, faces frozen in a permanent look of horror, was his first indicator that something had gone wrong. It wasn't enough to snap him out of his trance, but it was almost there.

In the midst of the main hallway was Ben Solo, but he was barely recognizable.

He wore a black cloak, and it billowed around him in the soft wind that also tousled his chin-length black hair. His lightsaber glowed in the darkness, illuminating his barely-shaking hands and his horrifying face.

"Ben," was all Luke could think to say.

"Luke."

Nothing shifted in Ben's expression, and that very thought made Luke shudder. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"Snoke said to."

"Ben, please come back. We miss you. We need you. It's not too late..."

But it was too late, and both of them knew that. At least for now, it was too late for Ben to come back home.

He said nothing. He only dropped his lightsaber, plunging the room into darkness, and stepped outside. The step into a ship outside, one that Luke didn't recognize, was like a punch in the gut, forcing him down onto his knees into a sob.

Only one thought ran through his mind. The island. I need to go to the island.

For a second, Luke thought against it. But if Ben could run away from his problems, then so could he.

 

Luke didn't know how long he stayed on that island of his. It was a monotonous routine, but it was one that was comforting, and there were no more lives that he could ruin like this.

The life seemed to drain out of him. It took him years to realize that it was the Force. After all, there were no more Jedi to continue it.

Until one day.

 

Luke was tending to his garden - a task he did every day, not caring about how he didn't need to. Suddenly, he felt something coming back to him, filling him up and energizing him with a feeling he would never be able to explain. And he knew instantly: Anakin, his Anakin, had escaped the Stormtroopers.

But there was something else too. There was a new Force user, a powerful one, one who would perhaps shift the course of history and topple the First Order.

Luke couldn't stand to tend the garden any longer. He had to do something, something, to meet this mysterious new person.

And his son. At any cost, he had to meet his son.

Luke had dreamed before about meeting his little Anakin, but these had been nothing more than itches that he needed to scratch but was never able to. But now, he was filled from bottom to top with an entirely new hope.

Because after years and years of lifelessness, the Force had finally awakened.


End file.
